


Just Two Bros, Chillin' Out, Sitting Five Feet Apart 'Cuz They're Not Gay

by AlwaysCryOverSpilledMilk



Category: Deadpool (Movieverse), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Age Difference, Daddy Kink, Denial, Domestic Avengers, Everyone Thinks They're Together, Getting Together, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-16
Updated: 2018-05-16
Packaged: 2019-05-07 23:46:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,826
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14682003
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AlwaysCryOverSpilledMilk/pseuds/AlwaysCryOverSpilledMilk
Summary: It takes everyone thinking Wade and Peter are dating (Wade included) for Peter to realize his feelings.





	Just Two Bros, Chillin' Out, Sitting Five Feet Apart 'Cuz They're Not Gay

“You know, I’m not gay, but I’d tap that,” Wade says nonchalantly, leaning back on the couch in the X-Mansion’s lounge room.

“Tap what?” Scott asks, walking into the room.

“Sorry, did I say that out loud? That was private, you weren’t supposed to hear that.” Wade leans in close in Scott’s personal space and whispers, “But I’ll tell you anyway. I was thinking about Spiderman and that tight spandex suit he runs around in. But you can’t tell anyone!”

“I really don’t care, Wilson. How’d you even get in here anyway? Piotr was on guard duty.”

Wade waves a hand dismissively. “Don’t worry about it.”

“I’m worrying about it.”

“Pssh, it’s just lil ‘ole me, Scotty! I never cause any trouble.”

“Yeah, that’s a good joke. I’m gonna have to ask you to leave,” Scott says, crossing his arms over his chest. Wade’s pretty sure that if he could see Scott’s eyes, they’d be full of irritation. Which, of course, just eggs Wade on.

“Is Wolverine here?” Wade asks, his mask shifting as his eyes go wide with anticipation.

“No. So get out of here and go moon over Spiderman somewhere else.”

“I wasn’t mooning! I was simply appreciating that fine specimen in a very respectable way!” Wade whines, being shoved towards the front door by Scott.

“Yeah, sure.”

\---

“Okay… Black Widow, Storm, and Deadpool.”

“I thought we said no guys!” Peter wails, his face flaring up as he considers his options.

Ned smirks, unapologetically. “Deadpool’s like your best bro after me, so it shouldn’t be weird. Answer!”

Peter thinks for a minute before replying with a heavy blush, “Fuck Black Widow, kill Storm, and… marry Deadpool.”

“What!” Ned bursts out laughing. “You make a big deal out of me giving you a guy, and then you say you’d marry that guy? Peter, are you gay for Deadpool?” he asks, laughing harder.

“He’d just be a cool dude to spend my life with!”

“Hmm, is that the only reason?”

Without thinking, Peter answers, “I mean, he’s pretty hot.”

Ned’s laughter quickly dies out and he looks at Peter in shock, who is finally realizing what he’s said.

“But like… no homo!” Peter exclaims in embarrassment. “He’s just a good-looking dude!”

“You _are_ gay for Deadpool!”

“No way! I’m not gay!”

“Sure, buddy. Denial is the first step.”

The game ends there.

\---

“So, my best friend thinks I’m gay for you,” Peter mentions offhandedly one day, as him and Wade sit with their feet dangling off a rooftop.

“Cyclops thinks I moon over you, if that makes it any better,” Wade answers.

“You do talk about my ass a lot,” Peter says, chuckling.

“I do?”

“Like, every time we’re together. But you’re just joking, right?”

“Um, yeah. Definitely just joking.”

“Oh, I think something’s happening over there!” Peter points to a back alley where sounds of a fight are coming from, and doesn’t notice Wade’s sudden awkwardness.

\---

A few days later, Peter is invited to dinner with the Avengers and ends up dragging Wade along without telling anyone. When they arrive at the Tower, Tony stops them and says,

“I’m sorry, was your boyfriend invited?”

“He’s not my boyfriend!” Peter cries.

“Yeah, whatever. You get the point, though. I’ll let it slide but maybe next time say something ahead of time before showing up on my doorstep with a mentally unstable mercenary. ‘Kay? Thanks.”

They go inside and sit beside each other on one of the couches, surrounded by the other Avengers. They watch sitcoms while they eat shawarma take-out, and Peter doesn’t realize how close he and Wade are until they’re called out on it.

“Okay, seriously, are you guys dating or something?” Clint asks bluntly, staring at Peter and Wade from his spot on the floor.

“What? No! We’re not!” Peter splutters.

“Really? You’re sitting pretty close there for people who aren’t dating.” Clint raises an eyebrow in his skepticism.

Peter quickly scoots away from Wade. “There. Just two bros, chilling out, sitting five feet apart ‘cuz they’re not gay.”

Clint and a few others laugh at the comment, causing Peter to blush harshly.

“You’re being ridiculous, get your cute little butt back over here. This feels awkward,” Wade says, making grabby hands at Peter.

“Stop talking about my butt so much!”

“I’m sorry, I can’t help it! Would you prefer I talk about something else, like those _back muscles_?” Wade asks, shivering thinking about it.

“I’d like it if you didn’t talk about my body at all, please!”

“Just fuck already!” Natasha calls from across the room.

“Why does everyone always think we’re gay?!” Peter wails.

The Avengers all blink and don’t say anything.

“Probably because we act super fucking gay, Spidey,” Wade tells him.

“But we’re not!”

“Maybe _you’re_ not, but…”

“What?!”

“Peter, I have to tell you something.”

“Um…”

Peter goes still and gets even redder as Wade moves into his personal space.

“I wanna fuck you.”

“Who just… _says_ that, so casual!”

“Do you wanna fuck me, Petey?”

“U-uh…”

“My bad, what I meant to ask was: do you want _me_ to fuck _you?_ ” Wade winks and Peter shoves him away, causing him to fall onto the floor.

“Stop! Wade, just… stop,” Peter breathes out, getting up and running out of the room, ignoring Wade calling out to him.

“Well, that didn't go how I was planning...” Wade says, avoiding looking at anyone.

“Aren't you gonna go after him?” Bruce asks.

“What, you think he's not gonna punch me the second he sees my beautiful face?”

“Oh, no, he most definitely will,” Steve answers. “But that doesn't mean you shouldn't still apologize. Peter's an understanding person. He was probably just embarrassed, so he'll be upset with you for putting him in that situation. He'll forgive you, Wade.”

“Thanks, Dad,” Wade says with a grin before running off in the direction Peter had.

“Yeah, Parker’s gonna kick his ass,” Tony concludes, everyone nodding their heads in amused agreement.

\---

“Where's my straight little spider run off to?” Wade sings, searching the rest of the floor for Peter. Eventually he finds him staking out in Tony’s room, sitting on the edge of the bed. Wade sits on the floor beside him, back against the bed. “Hey, Spidey. I just wanted to say-”

“Yes,” Peter says, cutting him off, voice just barely above a whisper.

“Yes what?” Wade asks, confusion written all over his face.

“I want you to, um… y’know…” Peter trails off, awkwardly rubbing the back of his neck and avoiding eye contact.

“Want me to what?” Wade inquires, before his eyes widen in realization. “Oh. _Oh._ Petey, I would love to.”

“Can we…?”

“Here?” Wade eyes Tony’s bed wearily, not sure Peter realizes where they’re really sitting.

“I don’t wanna wait any longer,” Peter tells him with this sudden look of steely determination in his eyes. Wade would be lying if he said he didn’t instantly get a boner from the intensity of the expression.

“Spidey, I’m all yours. Whenever, wherever, and however you want me. Just tell me what you want me to do and I’ll do it.”

“Kiss me.”

“You got it.” Wade moves upward, kneeling in front of Peter so they’re eye-level with each other, and gently presses their lips together. Peter doesn’t know quite what it is, but he instantly feels _something_ and knows that he wants _more_ and wants it to never end. He reaches out and pulls Wade closer, their lips colliding harshly in a way that has them both moaning. Wade moves again, getting the vibe Peter doesn’t want him to be gentle, and shoves the young hero onto his back on the bed, proceeding to crawl on top of him and continue their kiss. Peter shivers in the midst of his pleasure, arching his back to press up against Wade.

“Eager, are we?” Wade teases, eyeing Peter up. He doesn't even know how long he's wanted to get Peter beneath him like this. But then he thinks- “Is this your first time?”

Peter blushes and turns his head away. “Yes…”

“Oh, baby boy…”

Peter moans, which piques Wade’s interest. “You like that? Baby boy?”

“Yes, fuck…”

“If you’re my baby boy… you know what that makes me to you?” Wade asks, winking with a sly smile.

Peter blushes harder and whispers, “...Daddy?”

The second new nickname draws a heavy moan out of Wade this time, his eyes glazing over as his lust grows stronger. “Oh, baby. I am gonna _ruin_ you.”

“ _Please_ , Daddy.”

It takes everything in Wade to not come right then.

\---

“Wow, I didn’t think Peter would be so damn _loud_ like that,” Clint says, still lounging around on the couches with his fellow Avengers. They’ve been able to hear just about everything from the room down the hall. “Also didn’t see the whole ‘daddy’ thing coming.” That was the worst part they’d happened to hear.

“Well, I dunno,” Natasha says, considering it. “I can see it.”

“Okay, that’s all great, but more importantly: why the hell did they have to resolve all their sexual tension in _my_ bed?” Tony asks, irritation scribbled across his features.

“I think you’re gonna need some new sheets, buddy,” Bruce tells him, looking apologetic but clearly amused.

\---

“Well, it took everyone thinking we’re together for us to get together, but I’m glad we got here,” Peter says, resting his head on Wade’s scarred chest after they finally finish a third round.

“Y’know, Spidey, I was never kidding about your cute butt,” Wade tells him.

“Seriously?”

“Completely, baby boy. And now that it’s _mine_ ,” Wade pauses to move his hand down and cup one of Peter’s buttcheeks, “I’m never taking my eyes off it.”

“O-okay.”

“The real miracle here is that you stopped denying you were totally gay as fuck for me.”

“Yeah, yeah. I think the real turning point was when I played Fuck, Marry, Kill with Ned.”

“Well, realistically, you’d have to say you’d either marry or fuck me since I can’t die.”

“I was tempted to kill you anyway. My other options were Black Widow and Storm, so.”

“But what’d you say? That you’d fuck me, I bet. I knew you were only in it for a piece of this fine ass.”

“No, shut up.” Peter hits him and they both laugh for a moment before it fades off and he continues, “I said I’d marry you.”

“Baby boy, I’m honored.”

“Besides, even if I got tired of your personality, I’d be able to bang you every day still.”

Wade raises a single eyebrow. “ _Every_ day?”

“ _Every_ day,” Peter affirms with a grin.

“God, how did I score this one?” Wade asks, looking up at the ceiling with a bright smile.

“Well, it helps that you’re hot.”

“I’m in love already, baby boy.”

Peter chooses to go another round rather than answering. He’s pretty glad he finally had both his proper gay and sexual awakenings. Wade, on the other hand, is ecstatic.

  


**FIN.**


End file.
